I grew up with sisters, raised by a vain mother and a gangster nana, and I studied in girls’ school. I understand the psychology of women like the back of my hand. Hence, when I receive backend compliments, or I meet bitchy women I know how to handle it. I try to handle an ugly situation politely and gracefully because I learned the psychology on how to make friends with other women.
If you want to be a good friend and build a solid friendship with women, here are my tips.
- Travel With Your Girlfriends
Before the airport gates were closed, I traveled a lot with female friends because it makes traveling better and memorable. When you travel with mates, they can help you do things you can’t like booking a cheaper hotel room because one of your best friends is a coupon girl, or you can reach the destination easier because your mates have a sense of direction.
When you travel with friends you will get to know their personality, life story, and attitude. You can decide from there if you want to continue the friendship or move on. When you create memories your friendship will have a good foundation.
- Don’t Bad Mouth Other Women
So, you want to be in the squad, and to bad mouth other women is your entry? Some women make the mistake of putting other females down as a way to make friends with women, hoping to make them look better or can be trusted.
It doesn’t work that way, darlings. When you bad mouth about others, it will only reflect on how you define yourself. People don’t trust a woman who is a snitch.
- Filter Your Opinion
Most women are opinionated and we get that but try to filter your opinion before you share it with your friends. People who have confidence can be bold in statements, and unafraid to give backend compliments.
Here are a few tips on how to filter your words:
3.1 If you see your female friends who obviously gained weight understand how to compliment them on their bodies without fat-shaming. You don’t want to be the slim bitch who thinks you are better looking than your mates. Use general compliments, for example, ‘you look pretty on your dress’, ‘you look nice’ and avoid the word but. If you think that your friends have dressed badly instead, no need to say anything mean.
3.2 If you see female friends who are curvy and you feel like giving compliments, don’t compare her body to another woman or celebrity who obviously has done surgery. For example, to compliment your mate that she is hot like Kim Kardashian is a backend compliment. It means you may be referring that her body isn’t real but she is hot anyway. Use general compliments, for example, ‘the swimsuit looks good on you’, or ‘you look hot’. To be specific in your compliments in the female body is a sensitive area. You don’t want to sound creepy or bitch.
3.3 If you are conservative and if you see a friend wearing a sexy dress, don’t give your unsolicited fashion tips just because you think being conservative will be respected more than people who aren’t. Don’t slut-shaming a friend who has a different fashion style than you.
3.4 If you know that your friend has a shopping addiction, don’t give your unsolicited advice on how to manage her finances when you know nothing about where her money is coming from and how she can afford a lifestyle. It is nobody’s business hence, unsolicited advice can contribute to relationship problems. It may sound disrespectful and presumptive.
3.5 If you believe that your partner looks better than your friends’ man, don’t advise them to replace their partner with a better looking dude just to have ‘relationship goals’. Some women don’t value relationships on the basis of physical looks. Others are looking for a man who is smart, kind, responsible, and loyal.
To have a filter in conversation with women is not being plastic but called being well-educated. When you understand how to filter your words, you have high EQ which also means you can get along with people. When you are confrontational and mean, it reflects a lot to your level of education, upbringing, and social graces. No woman who wants to hang out with mean girls.
- Be Funny
Not many women have a sense of humor because we take things too seriously and literally. The simplest way to become a friend to other females is to have humor. When you have energy, you are funny and you make people laugh, they will want to be around you. One of the funny girls that I know is Karina, and that’s how she wins my friendship. She is good at making jokes and she’s bubbly. I like that.
Now if you are not funny at least don’t be a Karen in the group.
- Let Your Friend Have Her Moment
I watched the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and I noticed that whenever Erika Jayne has an upcoming concert or practicing in a dance studio, Lisa Rinna will say that she has been there and done that. She will share a story about how great of a performer she was telling indirectly to Erika that she has the same talents. Denise Richards made a comment that she should let Erika have her moment.
When a woman is jealous and her mate is winning, she wants to make a scene to overshadow her. Don’t do that, instead, when your friend has an important thing going on in her career, business, relationship, etc let her shine and be a supportive friend. You don’t have to be always the center of attention.
- Don’t Be Afraid To Give Compliments But Don’t Exaggerate It
Women love compliments that are genuine, who doesn’t? As long as keep it simple and you don’t sound creepy or you are not hitting on her, she will love the praise.
Women are accepting humans but not all of us are gays who are okay with sexual compliments from other women. Hence, it is important that you filter your compliments and don’t exaggerate them.
- Make Time
Okay, we all know that you are a hustler chic but if you want to be a good mate, and then be one. Simply make time, be accepting, supportive, be a good listener, and available. No one builds a solid friendship base on the text and Instagram likes. Unless, you are a keyboard warrior , you are a social media ghost-follower, and you don’t want real friends.
The social bonding will help others to feel comfortable with you. It will allow them to get to know you.
- Don’t Spread Gossips That Your Friend’s Reputation Will Be Hurt
Okay, I’m not a big fan of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills but after I watched a few episodes, I realized the TV series are teaching us social awareness and strategy how to build a friendship with other women and tips about things to avoid.
I watched the last season and Brandi Glanville spread rumors that she and Denise Richards slept together. She shared stories about how Denise went down on her and how they kept an affair. In my opinion, Brandi shouldn’t do that to a friend or lover who trusts her. Not only she could end up in a slander lawsuit but she literally ended the friendship by spreading rumors. Even if it is true, they should keep it between them and respect her privacy.
- Take Responsibility
Women are not perfect and we say things inappropriately to our friends, don’t be afraid to make amends when you need to. Misunderstandings happen all the time, especially when you are in the process of getting to know each other but when that happens don’t shut down the door and walk away. Your friend may feel they are betrayed and may not even know what you are going through in life. Instead, talk about it openly.
- Don’t Flirt Your Friend’s Man
This is the number 1 rule in every female squad, don’t flirt with your friend’s man. It will be controversial, lots of drama, and basically the end of your friendship unless if you are trying to start a fight with your mate then best of luck with that because once a woman has a reputation that she is a snitch, no one is going to trust her.
How to tell if your friend is flirting with your man?
10.1 When you set up a friendly date to introduce your man to your best friends, and they started to talk more about themselves than to share a story about you.
10.2 Your friend follows your man on social media more than you do and it seems like she knows things about him that you don’t know. If your friend starting to be a stalker to your man without your permission, girl it’s a red flag.
10.3 She always makes herself the center of attention when he’s around. You know this type: she talks a lot about her stuff, she give herself compliments, and she dominates the conversation.
10.4 She plays victim to your man so that you will look like the bad bitch. Women can be toxic in friendship and when they get jealous, they will do anything to steal your happiness.
Lastly, to have a solid squad enjoy your friendship, be yourself, share your story openly, learn to trust others, give genuine compliments, hands off to your friend’s man, and travel together. To have female friends are like having sisters by choice and chemistry.